thevodkadiary

 "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"  ~  Hunter S. Thompson

and so does people and places.  Japan is a great country, even with it's ups and downs that it sends me on sometimes.  I used to think about how safe it was here, and how unreal it was.  Every country I ever been to has some type of crime or unsolved mystery on TV or the News papers.   For a long time it was like this, and I never seen any dirt Japan had until recently.  

It started as small clips here and there on TV, usually shown with cheap errie music in the background to give you that creepy feeling.  Well.... I guess that is what they are going for. It just sounds cheezy and there is just no point to it at all.  But with some of the shots on TV of some crimes that they talk about.  It shows the chalk layout, or the "What's under the covers" mystery tarp.  In the states its bright yellow, and here it looks like a blue construction tarp.  So you never know as your going along the streets if there is a pile of sod or bricks under the blue tarp, or a dead body.  

What's even more strange, yet funny.  Is what makes headlines here in Japan sometimes.  The crimes are so minor that, once on Japantimes.com.  The main Headline was: "Police man get shot in buttocks with his own gun by a porno theif"  Sweet Jesus!  Wtf is this world coming to?  Back home, they talk about the poverty levels, or some high up scandals, along with the number count from the war.  Here, they have nothing to worry about, but crazy mothers and Porno panty thieves.

I'd advise you to check it out, it's entertainment at least.  I'm assure you that you will find nothing there like you would on the front cover of Mexico or El Salvador.  And remember!  If you ever decide to come to Japan for a visit. Just make sure you keep your porn under lock and key!

GEN-X-GONZO

 

 As President Nixon once said:  "We could do that...... but it would be wrong."
                                                                            ~Hunter S. Thompson

Duke,

I've gotten through 2 1/2 chapters of your book today "The Rum Diary" and I love it more than "Fear and Loathing."  I don't know, maybe it's because I can relate more to traveling and journalisim more than politics and drugs.  Now the progress that I made today surprised me.  I went out and had countless amounts of Super Long Island Iced Teas from T.G.I.F in Machida, Japan last night.  I was binge drinking since I had to work today. Fucking great isn't it?  After drinking those down and passing time with co-workers, I clocked out and headed home on the next train.  On the way to the Michida station I was greeted by "Walking Girls".  I refused as usual, I was not drunk enough to even think that maybe they Were a little attractive.  Because Sweet Jesus! They were more ugly than a back of a fuckin horse's ass. So my cell phone starts going off and I pick up, it's my sister in Sasebo who usually calls me once a day.  I tell her about the story of the ugly call girls I just met in the neon streets of Machida.  "If their voice sounded a little haspy, they might have been drags." She says.  "What?!  Are you serious?  I replied.  "Yes, there has been  a lot that roam around here in Fukuoka recently, and they are all over. They mostly come from Thailand or maybe even China." "You know, you're probally right because I remeber spotting two trans near a train station by my work."  So with that said I walked to another two on the other side of the street who were also butt ugly, and started to talk.  Right away they both waved their hands and said that they don't understand a lick of what I was saying.  And with every word the voices were getting huskier.  "For the records.....Can I ask a question, are you two......men?"  I asked with a grin while pointing at them.  They froze and just looked at me, they knew exactly what I said.....word for word.  "........ummm....yes!" they both said and walked away fast.  During this whole time I had Fumi on the phone and she had heard everything.  "See, I told you!  Becareful you might end up on the wrong end." she says with a laugh.  Then all of a sudden it dawns on me.  Earlier that night as we were joking over a few drinks at the bar. One of my co-workers talked about how he was going to get laid, one way or another.  If he wasn't able to work magic, he would work up a few dollars in the glass streets of machida.  I haven't seen him at all since I left the bar, and I wondered if he stuck to his word.  Will he come to work with a story about how he cough this nice girl walking the glass streets in wee hours of the morning? Or did he get lucky?  If he tells the story of "The best whore money can buy." Well.... I don't think I have the heart to tell him that the first girl he ever had in the exotic east, was really a boy toy.  Talk about the worst $5 I ever spent......sweet jesus!   I managed to get home, pounded some water and was out on my pillow almost as fast as the light bulb went out in my lamp. Sound a sleep, I was out for the count, my friday night was over. Yet I was safe. 

AJO

 "Buy the ticket..........   Take the ride." ~  Hunter S. Thompson

Duke,
 I was sitting at my desk in search of something to write about since it's been a damn month since I wrote anything on here.  And I know you have been checking my journal daily  to see if I had any new stories to tell.  Honestly, yes I do have stories to tell.  The real question is.."Sweet Jesus!"... Just  how fucking lazy are you?.  Anyhow, just as an Idea unfolded in my head, my house started swaying in the wind.  WTF!!! I thought.  This is the 2nd earthquake this week, it's crazy, yet it's really not that bad. 

 I just got a copy of a few of your books that you sent me.  I'm bouncing back and forth from book to book because I can't make up my mind, they all are really good.  However, the one I happen to pick up the most is your "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas."  When I first got the books, I happen to be on drugs at the time, and not the good kind.  The shitty drugs, the drugs  you can't pronounce, the drugs you can't swallow without fear of choking.  The HUGE fucking clear brown bottle for 4 small tablets drugs.  I was on those for a real minor but annoying problem caused by poison Ivy.  I bet the Air Force never had you fuckin doing yard work huh? Also, the problem with this over the counter drug, was the drowsy effect.  I would be fine the first 20-30mins, then it would feel like I was in the club scene for 3 days and 3 nights with no sleep.  It was horrible and I dropped the meds after 3 days.  I still used the creeme so it would stop the damn iching, for the love of god I wanted to claw my fuckin skin off.  So with this, I couldn't stay awake long enought to finish more than 8 pages.

It's a whole new week now.  Jack frost is right around the corner, and he came back to town early this year.  It's a good thing for most of us over here.  We are getting sick of the heat, and clamy weather.  It's time for a change, and one fast.  And speaking of time, I gotta jump off here since it's no longet Tuesday as of 40 mins ago.  I got a long morning ahead of me.
Take care,

AJO

 I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
                                                                                                     ~Hunter S. Thompson

 So it began here.  
The weather outside has trapped me indoors where I wait for the storm to come. Japan is expecting it's 25th typhoon of the year, and it should hit tomorrow afternoon they say. Usually we get a lot of rain before then, and it has rained quite hard on and off all day.  It's funny to me how japan is proned to so much of mother nature's worst features.  If you are not getting knocked around from the earthquakes. You just might be getting washed up from all the rain. I wonder if Seattle has ever seen this much rain?  It feels like summer never came, it skipped a season this year as we went from spring to fall.  

In the states, it's a different story in all directions.  I flew home for the first time in 4 years last August on the 2nd.  The very day I left from Tokyo, I melted off atleast 5 pounds from the blistering heat and humidity.  This day was one of the few rare sunny days in Japan as I sat there on the platform of the train station in Yokohama where I first begain my trip home wishing there was an easier way.  I could feel the alcohol exiting my pours from the heavy drinking the night before, and the salty sweat blinded my eyes.  I had felt like I walked right into a giant wet paper towel, and misery set in right away.  As if this was not bad enough to start my long trip home, I was greeted by the body odor of two men who needed directions on how to catch a train to the airpor and a stick of deodorant.  At first I was occupied by the pretty short skirt office women coming and going on this busy Thursday afternoon, until the voice broke the silence. "Excuse me, but is this where we get train to airport?" asked one of the men.  I didn't say anything at first, and it wasn't because I was lost, or was it because I had no clue.  But his body odor was seeping heavily up from under his arms as he raised them to brush the sweat from his eyebrows. Yes indeed this was to be a long trip back home.

Home brought some of the best weather I have had in years.  Of course for the locals there in my hometown, couldn't have agreed more less. Everyone had their own theroy on the weather and about global warming.  Many talked about the little to no rain they have had all year long. As I was hearing this while I was opening my suitcase, I thought to myself how ungrateful they really were.Now I am back in Japan listening to the calm before the storm as I type this sipping on a Vodka Tonic wishing I was back home...... Where the storm clouds don't roam.

 

AJO